The Kazoo of the gods

   

Can you hear that? That's 120 decibels of pure majesty.

These are vuvuzelas. They represent all that is annoying and glorious on this good Earth.

Most commonly encountered at certain South-African soccer matches, the vuvuzela can be heard blaring fervently for miles.

Also, I want one. My hope is that during the summer, I will traverse across town, triumphantly blowing my vuvuzela at any sports event I manage to find. Don't get me wrong, I don't mean to distract any of the players. I simply want to recreate the intensity and excitement of the World Cup.

Maybe one day I'll build one of these in my backyard:

Oh, and here's a vuvuzela symphony, courtesies of Mysteryguitarman, whom I love and will eventually adopt:

Yay!

The Rest of my Life depends on This

  
So M. Night Shyamalan's "Avatar: The Last Airbender" is coming to a theater near you on July 1st. Unlike most movies this summer, "The Last Airbender" maintains quite a following. And unlike most fans, airbender fans are not prepared to be disappointed. I'm one of these fans.

My spine is tingling with so many awesome.

It's about time someone stepped up to the plate to film the Avatar series. But M. Night Shyamalan? The skepticism is understandable considering his past movies.

Personally, I've followed the Nikelodeon cartoon from the beginning. I even watched the un-aired pilot episode. And I'll admit, it doesn't offer any insight into the human soul. Avatar: The Last Airbender is a kid's show. But it's smart, witty, and refreshing. It bends the limits of anime. Ha, see what I did there?

Anyway, I've prepared a list of grievances concerning what I know about the movie thus far:

1. Uncle Iroh isn't fat.

Shaun Toub (Yinsen in "Iron Man") needs to eat approximately 5000 pizzas. Immediately.

2. The live action movie is entitled, "The Last Airbender" thanks to James Cameron. FREAKING. He could have named his blue people movie after ANYTHING IN THE WORLD. Also, did he even look at the definition!?

Avatar (according to this place):

1 : the incarnation of a Hindu deity (as Vishnu)
2 a : an incarnation in human form b : an embodiment (as of a concept or philosophy) often in a person

Where did he get "the brain of a cripple inside of an alien" from that?

3. Prince Zuko's scar looks like a paper cut. His face says, "Owies I has a booboo" instead of "GRAH I JUST GOT SEARED PAINFULLY BY MY OWN FATHER!"

4. I hope the trailer does not contain every single epic scene in the movie. I guess we'll find out.

5. I have yet to see Momo anywhere.

How can you say no to a face like that?

In any case, I am prepared to shave my head and paint blue arrows all over my body for the midnight premiere of this movie. If I find out that I did it all for nothing, and that the second and third movies were merely rumors, imma have to bust some caps.

Toy Story Signals the End of my Childhood

So I went to the midnight showing of Toy Story 3 with my girlfriend.

This was it. We'd been waiting eleven years for the final chapter of our beloved toy story.

What struck me first of all were the number of badass people attending the movie. Seriously, these kids came straight from battling narwhals and jumping off of exploding planes to come see Toy Story 3. It was just touching to see everyone embracing their inner child.

Example badass person

The second thing that struck me was the short before the movie. It was quite unlike any previous Pixar short, and was actually less three dimensional, despite the fact that we were looking through 3D glasses. How to describe it? It was certainly visually stunning. And cute, of course. That's a requirement. The short was definitely an indication as to how far Disney and Pixar's relationship has come.

Then there was the movie. Toy Story 3 reminded me a lot of Rugrats All Growed Up in that it shared many of the elements of the two previous movies, but it wrapped up the series nicely. Andy is, as I suggested, all growed up, and heading out to college. We, the audience, get to see some inner turmoil because Andy can't just bring all of his toys to school. That would be ridiculous. And unmanly.

I was most saddened to discover that many of Andy's toys had already been given away. But I guess that's realistic--I'd keep Woody over Bopeep, too. Most of the cast is still there, though: Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Kusak, Don Rickles, and John Ratzenberger (who has been in every Disney-Pixar film to date). There are several newcomers as well, like Whoopi Goldberg and Michel Keaton.

Toy Story 3 is finally out of the box

All in all I rather enjoyed it. I won't go too much into the plot, but Woody and company mistakenly get sent to a day care center, where a number of seemingly friendly toys welcome them to their own retirement-ish home. A conspiracy is exposed, blah blah blah, and three unlikely/otherworldly heroes save the gang from sure destruction.

Awesome. Also, in what was arguably one of the best scenes of the movie, Buzz runs around speaking spanish and lusts after the gorgeous Jessie.

Though a lot of the humor was slapstick, I greatly enjoyed the film. And now my childhood is over. There is simply nothing left to hold onto.

My inner child today

Who knows? Maybe they'll make Rugrats into a live-action movie...

Actually I hope they don't do that.